Christmas Memories and Wishes

Wow, I have been awful at updating lately. I am not sure if anyone reads this anymore or if blogging is old school but who cares. I feel like I need to put a few things down for my kids to read later.

Christmas is fast approaching and it has got me thinking of all my Christmases past. Christmas as a young child, as a college student the year I married Kelly, and the first Christmas' of each of my children. With each has come tender memories, traditions, and tender moments spent with loved ones that are no longer here with me.

One Christmas that has forever changed me is the Christmas of 1995 just  2 months after my father died. I remember being so unbearably sad. My father had died unexpectedly in October and then my Grandfather had died tragically in front of me the first part of December. I felt all alone! Now maybe I should preface this post by saying what a huge Michael McLean fan I am. I saved all summer for a CD player and earned the money for one. My parents got me my first CD the Christmas before my dad died and it was Michael McLean "The Light Will Come" I played that CD so many times my siblings would hide it just so they wouldn't have to hear it! :) At my dads funeral someone sang "Your Not Alone" also by Michael McLean. I held onto the words of his songs, especially that one for dear life.

Then came Christmas that year without my dad or my grandpa. My mom was alone. A single mother now with no job and 4 kids to provide for. At the age of 13 and being the oldest I knew Christmas would not be much if anything, heck we were lucky to be standing. It was hard to get in the Christmas spirit as usual until 1 week before Christmas when a knock sounded on our tiny apartment door. I answered it and there stood a women I had never seen before. She asked for my mother. I quickly got her. The women look overcome as she started to explain she had known my father at work and how kind he was. She recounted how she was having a bad day and he had payed for her lunch once. She quickly held out an envelope saying they ha taken up a collection at work for our family for Christmas. I think there was about $200 in the envelope. As quickly as she said hello she said goodbye. Now, I wasn't thinking"Oh yeah Christmas is coming!" I actually was overcome with a different feeling one of complete love and hope. One of humility. Can you feel that at age 13 because I did? I couldn't believe people could be so kind! I went to bed with hope!

The next afternoon the doorbell rang and it was our church young women's group with arms full of wrapped presents for my entire family. They layed all the presents under the tree and like the scripture says the windows of heaven were opened and there was not room enough to receive it, literally we could not walk in our living room there were so many gifts! Again I was touched, not because my living room was filled with presents but because again there burned that ember of hope in my heart. The humility had returned.

Then for a third night in a row the door bell rang to our tiny apartment but when I opened the door there stood Santa with a worn and batted pick up truck and 4 bikes fresh from DI all fixed up for riding anywhere our hearts desired. You should have seen the look on my little brother and sisters faces....PRICELESS! Again...hope...humility!

Two of the gifts given were Michael McLean tapes. My sister and I played them over and over again. Sure enough the song they had sung at my dads funeral was on the cassette tape. "You are not alone. Even though right now your on your own. You are loved in ways that can't be shown your needs are known, your not alone!"

My mother received "The Forgotten Carols Soundtrack" and it to we listened to until the tracks were rubbed off. My new favorite songs, "Let Him In" and "I Cry the Day that i Take the Tree Down" because after that Christmas I did! That Christmas I learned that Christmas was more than gifts it was about a feeling. It was about sharing hope! It was about sharing the message Christ came to share when he was born in a humble stable.

My new Christmas tradition includes going to the Forgotten Carols every year and though my husband gets a little weary of it he realizes that Michael McLean's music reminds me of "Christmas' when{me and my dad and grandpa} will be together again." Michael added his own carol a couple of years ago and it has truly inspired me. Please read the words and "let's all arise and shine forth" this Christmas season. and remember that "all we ever wanted, all we ever dreamed of, everything we hoped, and all the things we prayed for, couldn't hold a candle to what we been given, we've been given what we need!"

                                              Arise and Shine Forth
He did not come in glory when He first came to earth
And most the world ignored His humble birth.
But the heavens were singing in celestial harmonies,
And a star guided some souls to their knees;
Those with ears to hear and eyes to see.

And the miracles followed, but the skeptics believed
They were lies spread by those who'd been deceived.
With their appetite for power, they mocked every word He said,
While the ones truly hungering He fed;
Those who hungered after righteousness he fed.

And the light that He gave was to lift and to save
And the burdens that He came to bear are the ones we can't carry and need to share

I give thanks for His sweetness; I have faith in His power,
And I know He'll strive with me every hour.
For He suffered in darkness, kneeling in Gethsemane,
So the light of His love could shine on me;
So the light of His love could shine through me.

Arise! Sisters, arise!

Arise and shine forth, let us add to the flame
That burns brightly in hearts that bear His name.
And the torch that's a standard for the nations all to see
Is the light of the world shining through me.

We are standing for something, prayerful in all things, comforting those that mourn.
We are gathering Zion, we can rely on this refuge from the storm
We are strengthened on every side in the light we cannot hide
We are united, spirits ignited, feeling the fire inside.
Arise and shine forth, and we'll add to the flame
That burns brightly in hearts that bear His name.
And this torch that's a standard for the nations all to see
Is the light of the world that shines in you and me;
It's the light of the world shining through me!