Life.....

Life . . . Wow who knew such a little word entailed so many things. I have had the last three days to ponder this very subject. Life is precious! Life is wonderful! Life is HARD! Life can bring great joy!

I promised myself 15 years ago that I would never take life for granted again. The unexpected death of my father followed by my grandfather 2 months later was totally shocking. I remember living in a bubble thinking, "Nothing like that could ever happen to me." Enter major wake up call! We are all living because of the gift of our Heavenly Father. This life can be short. . . too short . . . it can also last a span of a 100 or more years for some of us. The main thing is that we are unaware of the time we have here on this earth with people we love so we need to make the most of each and every day! We need to kiss a little longer, embrace the people we love just a moment longer, laugh at ourselves when we find ourselves in the worst disaster imaginable. We need to be a little less serious, less concerned about impressing others and more concerned with impressing our Heavenly Father.

I promised myself 15 years ago I was going to do all of these things including living my life righteously enough to return to the presence of my Heavenly Father and be reunited with my dad and grandpa in the Celestial Kingdom. I stuck to it pretty darn well but alas I am human and the busy work of life tasks has overpowered my devotion to the simple and small moments that make this life worth something. I think Heavenly Father has tried to remind me a couple 100 times in the last 4 years. You would think I would have gotten it after multiple near death experiences, gobbs of surgeries and almost a month in the ICU. I think with each of those trials I have recommitted myself to love a little more and share my testimony about the importance of the small and simple things in life.

I am not perfect! I have moments of anger, pain, sadness even. It's wading through those moments I find a growing appreciation for the simple things in life that I commonly overlook. Things like how the words from a hymn can speak to your soul and the questions or concerns you have asked God can be answered through them. Also kisses good night. How great are those? Until lately they had become a night time routine prayers, hugs, kisses but now I am savoring in those night time routines. Even the feeling of my husband next to me at night when I can't sleep. It's like experiencing life for the first time.

I was thinking its funny how we take so much for granted until we try to think about life without it. Some more very life changing news was delivered to us last week. I have had a few days to reflect, cry, and thank my Heavenly Father. I am trying to look for the good, the miracles, the blessings in each situation our family is about to face. I am sure I will have moments of despair, tears, and some anger along the way but I hope recording my moments of peace will give me something to return me to a more positive fresh outlook on life.

I want to testify that Heavenly Father loves us. HE DOES KNOW US BY NAME! He sends us just what we need at the moment we need it. Family is important and I am so thankful for mine, immediate and extended. My co-workers and dear friends have been amazing. They have been a great strength to us in the past few days. They helped me to open my eyes and gave me courage when I found my own lacking. The church is true, it's teachings are true, real, and pertinent. Words can not express in full my testimony of the Gospel but it is true and lasting. To all who are reading this you have touched moments in my life that have shaped who I am for that a big Thank YOU!

Why not a silly picture!? I am learning to laugh at myself more! :)