My Baby is 3 . . . Look At Her Now!

I still can not believe how time flys by. I am scared to go to sleep at night for fear I will wake up and my kids will be driving, dating, and telling me I don't know what in heavens name I am talking about. OH WAIT they already do the latter!

It's stressful the past few weeks. You read about my fun with an abscessed tooth well our story just gets better from there. The day I got my root canal Kelly got super sick. He also failed to mention to me that it had been going on for almost 4 weeks. We have had a lot of sleepless nights a doctors visit, a trip to see a GI specialist, and a colonoscopy. The GI Doctor says that Kelly most likely has ulceritive colitis that is severe enough it could border on Krohns Disease. He removed 2 polyps from Kelly's large intestine for biopsy and we are waiting for the results. This biopsy will determine if it is Ulcerative Colitis, Krohns, or if there is any cancer floating around in there. The Doctor felt pretty sure the polyps were caused by the colitis and not cancer but that we needed to wait for the biopsy to confirm. Ahh the lovely waiting game! Kelly is optimistic as always, but he is starting to get a taste for what my world has been like the last 3 years. All the poking and prodding, medications 3 and 4 times a day. I feel so awful he has to endure this but I need to start looking at the sunshine in it. The doctor said if it is ulcerative colitis people live long healthy lives with it barring some medication and a few diet changes. So, here we go folks!

Needless to say with all of this going on I have been a bit overwhelmed, a tad depressed, and a little down trodden. So when life gets like this I make it a point to count my blessings so I don't feel so bad for myself. So, today I must do my 1 year tribute to life.

You see today is Addie's birthday and every year on this day I have made it a goal to celebrate life and thank my Heavenly Father that both Addie and I are here. So I like to journal Addie's birth story to remember just how lucky we both are to be here!

3 1/2 years ago I was recovering from a miscarriage at 12 weeks. It was awful! We had seen the baby numerous times on ultrasound and heard the heartbeat and then disaster, I had a low lying placenta that pulled away and we lost the baby. I was devastated, this was the second baby we had lost and emotionally I was rough. Kelly didn't think he could watch me go through it again and didn't want to try for anymore children for a long time. I wanted a baby so bad so I decided to fast and pray and see if this was the right decision to forge forward for another baby and that if so Kelly's heart would be softened. We were taking a temple trip to the Logan temple to watch my brother and sister-in-law take out their endowments and be sealed. I made that temple trip a matter of fasting and prayer. I came away from the temple feeling peace that everything was going to work out the way that it should. A little over a week later I had the distinct impression that I was pregnant. As if I could actually hear the Holy Ghost speaking to me, "Amber, you are pregnant!" I thought no way! I had just lost my baby 2 months earlier and we were told to wait for at least 3 to 4 months to try again so we were preventing. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was pregnant so I took a test thinking it was a super long shot but sure enough it was positive.

I was scared and excited. I told Kelly and he almost didn't believe me. So I crossed my fingers. A couple of weeks later I started bleeding and went to see my doctor and they did an ultrasound but they couldn't see a baby. He thought maybe my dates were off and it was too early to see anything on ultrasound. So I went home hopeful. I week later the bleeding increased so I went back to the doctor. Still no visible baby. At this point they told me it was just a blighted ovum that never formed and that I would miscarry any tissue that had started to develop. I was heart broken. I knew I couldn't face losing the chance at another baby. 2 weeks later I was at work, all week I had been waiting for the miscarriage to happen. While sitting in report that morning I felt a gush in my underwear. I ran to the bathroom to note that I was bleeding heavily, too heavily. I found my doctor, luckily he was on the floor I was working on. He told me to get off my feet and meet him at his office in 1 hour. You with every miscarriage I have had I hemorrhage and end up with a D&C so he was concerned. The bleeding increased to the point of hemorrhage. I met him at his office and as he got me on his table he was highly upset to find my bleeding was so bad. He told me he needed to rush me back up to the hospital for an emergency D&C but first he wanted to look with ultrasound and see if I had passed any of the tissue.

What happened next is miracle #1. I watched the screen for the ultrasound and as I looked I saw a baby with a heartbeat. That can't be! I looked at the doctor and the nurse for some reassurement but all I saw were jaws to the ground and awe. He told me he had hardly ever seen this and told me to get hone and get in bed. He suggested for me to call our family and ask them to fast and pray for our baby. That is what I did. I asked for a blessing when I got home but Kelly was out of town for a class and couldn't be reached so I called done of my neighbors and he grabbed the Bishop and came down. In the blessing I was told that, "You will hold this baby in your arms and she will be yours!" That one sentence is what I clung to for the rest of my pregnancy. I bled the first 13 weeks of my pregnancy and did some time on bed rest. This one of my hardest pregnancy's ever. I was super sick and pukey. I received IV therapy twice because I puke so much but I just kept thinking I will do anything to get this baby here. At 27 weeks I started with preterm labor that they had to stop and I was on medicine to control my contractions. At about 30 weeks my cervix was starting to dilate and my doctor put me on bed rest. I was not quite 31 weeks when I got up to get one of my kids something in the early morning hours. As I walked into my kitchen I felt a gush of fluid. My water broke. I knew this wasn't good! Kelly was out delivering papers and he didn't have a cell phone to reach him. We had a really big storm hitting and my doctor was 30 minutes away in Rexburg. I sat down and just prayed and prayed for Heaven;y Father to get Kelly home fast, after my second prayer the door flew open and there was my husband. I told him what had happened and we got in the car and headed for Rexburg. My contractions were picking up and my water was leaking more. I think I cried the whole way to the hospital because I knew it was too early and the likelihood of her making it without being shipped to Primary Children's and being gravely sick was slim to none.

Sure enough my water was broke and I had dilated from a 1 to a 4 in less than 24 hours. They told me they needed to get steroids on board for my baby's lungs but that she needed 2 doses 24 hours apart and I was already in active labor. We prayed for my labor to slow. Miracle #2 my labor completely stopped and they were able to give me the medicine she needed, actually, they were able to keep me on bed rest for a week and two days at the hospital to allow her more time to develop. I was not aloud to move out of that bed unless I had to use the bathroom. No standing showers either. I endured multiple tests and fetal heart monitoring because my water was broken we were both at super high risk for infection that could kill us both. Needless to say we made it. I delivered Addison 1 week and 2 days later on February 5th, Super Bowl Sunday!

The rest of the story is a whole other novel in and of itself. If you want me to blog about it let me know but I think I have bored you all enough for one day. A brief synopsis: After delivery Addie was passed to the NICU team and I proceeded to hemorrhage out. I had a placenta acreta. They tried everything but as fast as they would give me blood it was coming out. I passed out and my blood pressure dropped dangerously low. I almost died and they told Kelly to prepare for the worst. 2 surgeries, 2D&C's, a hysterectomy, and 12 units of blood later I am here and so is Addie. She was a mere #4 at birth and spent 3 weeks in the NICU trying to learn to eat and gain weight. She only had to be on Oxygen for about 3 hours after delivery and then did awesome. She is beautiful and we thank God everyday for the miracle of her life and for the blessing of 2 other beautiful and healthy children. Addie is such a joy in our home and it has been so fun to watch her grow and thrive. She is a little character with some funny chatter on her tongue every minute. She loves to dance and sing and most of all she loves playing dress up and playing with her dog Tuff.

I thank God for the miracle of life! Addie is our miracle baby. She defeated all odds to be here. She was meant to be here and I hope I can raise her to be the daughter in Zion she needs to be. I want to testify that God loves us and knows us by name. He hears and answers our prayers according to His will and our faith. I testify that the Gospel is true and that the plan of salvation is a very real and ongoing working plan that greatly effects my life and i am thankful for an eternal marriage to an amazing man and for the promise that we can all be together forever. Happy Birthday Addie, we made it girly and although it's been hard I have loved every minute of it!